


Uninvited

by Finn4



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:08:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25489774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finn4/pseuds/Finn4
Summary: Katniss is exiled to District 12 after the events of Mockingjay. She feels alone.She is not alone.
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Finnick Odair
Comments: 26
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

Katniss Everdeen woke in her bed with the distinct feeling that someone...something...was watching her. She let her eyes slowly take in the ceiling of her room. Nothing unusual about the stark white ceilings of her home in the Victor’s Village being slowly illuminated by the rising sun that streamed in like clockwork every morning from her eastern window. But something was off. Her room was freezing. She hadn’t noticed it until she slowly started to gain consciousness and realized that in her sleep she had wrapped herself so tightly into her blanket that she would hardly even wiggle her toes. 

She pulled her comforter up around her neck and shivered. That’s when she noticed it. Her breath. 

She could see it. In April.

She bolted herself awake, sitting up in her too tight blankets, her finger tips aching from the cold. And through her breath she caught a glimpse of a figure at the foot of her bed. Resting languidly in a wicker chair that sat there...usually holding her clothes from the day before. But now it held a figure. A male figure. That was not Peeta. His taller frame and tangled blonde hair. His image so distinct in her mind from the dreams and nightmares that had been plaguing her since she left The Capitol. 

It was Finnick. 

She blinked against herself, unwilling to believe she was actually awake. He rested his long arms along the sides of the chair, his fingers slowly drumming a pattern that matched her rising heartbeat.

“F...Finnick?..” 

Her words escaped her lips in a cloud of breath and the sound of her voice seemed to draw him from the chair, pulling him towards the bed until he resting leaning forward onto his knees, his hands clasping one another.

“Hi Katniss....” he whispered back and the sound of his voice shook and unsteadied her. 

“I’m....I’m asleep....” she closed her eyes tight and opened them several times. She let them fling back open only when the images of him being torn apart by mutts flooded her brain. The same images that pulled her from sleep for nights on end. The sound of him screaming for her as they killed him. The images of his life that made their way into her brain as she spared him the agony of that death. 

Something had happened in that moment that she could not shake. He had somehow become a part of her consciousness only in time to die and be taken from her. In an instant.

“You’re not asleep.” He whispered, a faint and sad smile across his lips as she stared at him hard. 

“You’re...it’s not possible...you’re not alive.” Her voice was coming out of her in fits and starts and she was peeling her eyes from him only to look around for something that would tell her this was real.

“You’re right. I’m not alive. And you’re not asleep.” His voice was calm and he stared at her intently. She met his steely gaze and tried to make sense of his words.

“You’re dead.” She let herself say and the words landed on him like a grenade that had already exploded.

“I am.” He replied, without a hint of guilt or sadness.

“Finnick....I’m sorry....” Katniss let her tears fall as her apology did. She couldn’t hold them back and now she was sure that she was, in fact, dreaming. She apologized to him night after night in her sleep. Over and over. Watching him die in the murky sewer water. Smelling his blood and flesh as they destroyed him. Feeling each tear and bite as if it was her own body.

“You don’t have to be sorry anymore. It had to be this way.”

His voice came out of him like a script. One he didn’t believe anymore than she did, but one he had rehearsed.

“Why?” She asked him. It was the first of a million things she needed to ask him. 

He stood from the chair and moved slowly to the side of her bed. He sat slowly beside her. He looked like he wanted to touch her but didn’t. She, however, could not resist. Mostly the morbid curiosity to know that he was actually there. She raised her hand to touch his hair and he recoiled. Nearly jumping from the bed.

“What? What is it?” She asked, pulling her upper body from her thick blankets in spite of the cold.

“You....you can’t touch me.” His voice was confused but stern.

“Why? I don’t understand...” Katniss turned and flung her legs over the side. Finnick stepped back until he had his back against the wall of her room, the window beside him. She noticed the breeze through it didn’t affect him. Not his long dirty blonde hair, not the loose white fabric of his shirt. 

“I...I don’t know why. I just know. I don’t understand either.” For the first time, the calm in his voice was replaced with fear and apprehension. It alarmed her but all at once made her feel it: this was no dream. It was very, very real.

“Finnick...when you....when you fell into those mutts. When they were....”

“Killing me...” he inserted the words she couldn’t find and she winced.

“Yes...I...I felt something. I saw something. I don’t know how or why.....” she was stuttering and stammering and confused.

“What did you see?” He asked her, slowly moving closer to her but keeping a safe distance.

She swallowed with intention and closed her eyes. Still able to see it.

“The mast of a boat....Mag’s laugh...pink sky....” she was seeing inside of him and he closed his eyes as she spoke. He finished with her, their voices in whispered unison.

“...Annie’s wedding dress.”

Their eyes flew open and locked on each other.

“How...how do you know that?” Finnick’s solidity was failing and his eyes broke as he begged her for an answer she couldn’t begin to understand.

“I don’t know. I don’t know.”

And she didn’t. How could she see the things inside his mind. His memories. 

And how was he there. Finnick slumped against the wall and rolled down it. She slid off the edge of the bed and leaned against it’s edge, facing him. 

“What is happening?” She asked, and he shook his head slowly. He inhaled and closed his eyes.

“I remember falling. I remember the fall, the water hitting my back. And I was sure that was what stung. I know they were there, the mutts, I knew what was happening but I didn’t feel it. I was more aware of them pulling me under water. I could see you. The look on your face. I knew you knew. And I went under. That’s all I remember. I woke up here. In this chair. And it was empty. And then it wasn’t. I heard you here. I heard you crying for Prim. But I couldn’t see you. And you couldn’t see me.”

Katniss listened to his words for clues but they left her more confused than she had been before. She pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes and groaned.

“Why are you here. I don’t understand. How is this happening. You’ve been....in my house....seeing me?? I don’t understand.”

“Look I don’t either. And I haven’t seen you. I’ve only heard you. Until you saw me. But that’s right now. It changes all the time. Sometimes I can smell. Sometimes I can hear. Sometimes I can talk. I don’t know what is happening to me.”

Finnick was spinning out, and rightfully so. Katniss wanted to help him with every fiber of the shell of her being but she was terrified. He was dead. She saw it. Did that mean she was too? How could he not know.

“You knew to tell me not to touch you. How did you know that.”

Her voice rose with a sense of accusation that covered her fear and guilt. He stood.

“I don’t know. I just...something told me not to let you. I don’t know.”

Katniss stood as he talked, unconcerned that she stood before him in nothing but an old t-shirt as she dropped her comforter. Clouds of cool breath still filling the air between them even as she closed in on him. He didn’t flinch. Their eyes met and he knew she had every intention of going against his gut. He let her.

He closed his eyes as she lifted her hand and placed it gently on his shoulder.

In one second, one moment, it was as if her hand was on fire. And her mind illustrated hot glimpses of a movie she didn’t want to see: blood, his tearing flesh, Snow, naked bodies writhing, his voice screaming and calling out. A baby crying.

She pulled her hand and her eyes flew open. The cold of the room was resolved with heat and in seconds she had broken into a blistering sweat. Her breath came in panicked gasps. She stared into his eyes and couldn’t focus on what she had seen. It was too much.

“What...what did you see?? What is it??”

She couldn’t repeat it. Didn’t want to. 

“I...I don’t know....”

He didn’t believe her but he took her at her word anyway. He went to touch her and this time it was her gut that pulled her from his reach. She backed away in a desperation that frightened him.

“How long, how long since the sewers. Between then and....now?”

He asked, clearly lacking any concept of time or space. Katniss shook her head knowingly.

“Snow is dead. The Capitol fell. I killed Coin. I’ve been exiled here...”

She repeated the things she knew to be true. The real. 

But not the answer to his question.

“Answer me, Katniss. How long?”

“Months, Finnick. Ten months since we left Thirteen together. Months.”

“That’s not possible.”

He whispered it as he slunk back down against the wall. He continued to whisper it to himself as he wrapped his hands around his head.

Ten months that felt like ten minutes to Finnick Odair , and ten years to Katniss Everdeen.


	2. Chapter 2

It felt like hours. Hours that they sat staring at each other and into the void of Katniss’ small room. She had nowhere to be and her had nowhere to go. And neither of them could even begin to make sense of what was going on. Katniss kept wondering if somehow they were both dead, but she knew she wouldn’t be lucky enough to just die.

Katniss watched him, his head hung low, his eyebrows pinched in thought. She sat up and without a word to him or enough movement to alert him, she touched him. Her fingers slightly and only barely grazing his shoulder. 

She relented immediately. Pulling her hand from his skin, her own immediately erupting in a glaze of sweat. The same terrifying sights flooded her consciousness: fear, Snow, mutts, pain, a baby crying, smiling but crying...a haunting smile that she couldn’t shake. And this time even as she pulled from him there was more...ceiling. She was looking at a ceiling. And it changed, repeatedly. One ornate ceiling after another, shuddering so fast past her eyes she couldn’t make out even one of them. Each one making her more uneasy than the last.

Her mouth and eyes hung open. She stared at him, terrorized. He jumped to, wanting to touch her but too terrified.

“Katniss, what is happening?! Please...”

The struggle in his voice moved her. If she was confused by his presence, he was devastated by hers. She couldn’t understand it and maybe he could help. 

“I don’t...it’s like I’m seeing things...that are yours. Feeling things that belong to you. Does that make sense?”

She sounded crazy saying it. 

“What things?” He moved closer to her, pleading with her for more answers. 

She told him. 

“The mutts, Finnick, I can feel them. You didn’t. But I do. And Snow. Laughing. People. Naked. I don’t know....” she closed her eyes tried to recall more in spite of herself, “ceilings. All of these different ceilings? Does that make sense?! A baby...it’s crying. Maybe...you are crying?”

Her eyes pinched closed trying to recall the images and they were flying before her. She opened her eyes and met his. They were glassy, cold, and confused.

“My memories...maybe? Some of them? Some of them don’t make sense. None of this makes sense.”

He gulped as he said it, almost trapping the words in his throat. His eyes were searching. 

“Finnick I’ve been having dreams. Every night. Since...every night since. Sometimes they feel like memories. Sometimes they feel new. I don’t know what’s happening.”

Katniss noticed his hands were trembling. There was a knock at the door. They looked panicked at one another and then stood. Katniss pulled pants over her legs and moved for the door, turning to see Finnick frozen against the wall where he had been sitting.

“Are you coming?” She asked pointedly, but not knowing why he would chose not to.

“I don’t know if I should?” He whispered like a child. A broken one. 

“Come on.”

She gestured for him to follow and he did. They walked slowly down a grand staircase to the front door and Katniss could see Haymitch Abernathy through its windows.

She pulled the heavy door open gently and forced a smile. 

“You don’t have to pretend to be happy on my behalf. I just wanted to check on you. Been a couple days.”

Haymitch was drunk. He slurred his words and seemed unsteady on his own two feet. Finnick was just over her shoulder as she responded.

“Ok. Come in. I need to talk to you.” 

They both stepped to the side and Haymitch made his way through it. Gesturing to her. But not so much as an acknowledgement of Finnick, much less the shock and surprise that should have accompanied seeing someone you thought was long dead.

Both Katniss and Finnick followed him even as he produced a flask and took a long pull.

“Haymitch.” Katniss nearly shouted to grab his attention. He turned slowly and started at her, confused by her urgency.

“You don’t see him. Finnick.” 

Her words flew into the air with anxiety and upset. Finnick stood right next to her. Staring at Haymitch.

“Finnick Odair....?” Haymitch repeated his name, full of sadness. Katniss stood and looked at him. Finnick was staring at the older man unwilling or unable to take his eyes from him. Katniss nodded yes. Nearly begging him to say yes. 

“Sweetheart, you know Finnick is gone. But...that’s part of the reason I’m here.” 

Katniss was lost, searching the room. Finnick was in a flat out panic. She looked right at him. 

“He’s right here. You don’t see him? It’s not possible.”

She moved to touch Finnick but he recoiled. Stepping far away from her and backing across the room. He looked towards Haymitch, who had no idea he was there. 

“What the fuck is happening, Katniss??”

Finnick called to her as he backed away. Haymitch grabbed her arm and turned her to face him.

“Let’s sit you down. Get some water. Ok? It’s ok....” Even in his state he was trying to calm her but it was no use. He pulled her towards a couch and she fought hard against him.

“You said Finnick is why you came. What does that mean? Why? What do you know about him?” She was desperate for some answers and looking back at Finnick who followed but only barely. He was clutching the side of a table like his life depended on it. The color draining from his face.

“Well, not Finnick exactly. I mean I guess Finnick...here...”, he helped her to sit and then joined her, patting her knee and attempting to ease her mind, “it’s Annie. She had a baby. Finnick’s son. She knew you’d want to know.”

Haymitch forced a smile and patted her gently as Katniss felt her heart pounding out of her chest. There was a loud crash behind them. Haymitch heard it. They both jumped from the couch and turned. The table Finnick had been holding had been turned on its side. The glassware and place setting that had been there from Katniss’s dinner the night before was shattered on the floor. A glass cabinet that sat next to it had shattered on impact. 

“What the hell?!” Haymitch shouted and instinctively pulled Katniss into his chest. 

“FINNICK?!” Katniss screamed. He was gone. 

“HAYMITCH HE WAS JUST HERE. HE WAS RIGHT HERE. I swear to God he was here. Please believe me. FINNICK!!” She was losing her control, flailing in Haymitch’s arms as he grabbed her and pulled her back towards the couch. She was screaming and crying for Finnick as Haymitch tried to make sense of how the entire table had turned over and broken. As she took a breath she closed her eyes and saw the baby she had seen when she touched him. She pinched her eyes closed. She heard the baby cry. Haunting green eyes. Finnick’s green eyes. She had seen his memories...and his present. 

She collapsed against Haymitch. Still calling Finnick’s name. The only thing scaring her more than his appearance was his disappearance.


	3. Chapter 3

Katniss drank glass after glass of water, trying to make sense of what was going on in her mind. 

She was fragile. Real.

She had dreams that felt like reality. Real.

Her trauma was triggering visions. Real.

Something just turned over her dining room table. Real.

Even Haymitch was shook, the reality of it all sobering him up. He asked her what she meant when she said she ‘saw Finnick’ and Katniss tried to explain, realizing how absolutely insane she sounded. But she had seen lots of insane and it had all been real, so why not this. Haymitch’s questions were leading:

Do you think The Capitol could do this? Maybe they have somehow recreated Finnick? Maybe they have placed these memories in your mind? 

Haymitch believed her, but he sure as hell did not believe that Finnick Odair was back from the dead. There had to be another explantation. And mercifully, he was motivated to help her find it. 

Something was sticking with them both.

“He didn’t know Annie had a baby. He couldn’t have known, right? The timing. He would not have known. So how did you know that before he did?”

Haymitch was pacing the room and chewing on his fingers between words and thoughts. Katniss wondered the same thing. She hadn’t thought anything of the images that played in her mind until the words had come out of Haymitch’s mouth. And then the impending crash of glass took their minds from it.

“How did you hear? About Annie? The baby?” Katniss brought it back up quietly. There was something gnawing at her that somehow suggested for some reason it was why Finnick disappeared. That made as much sense as anything anymore.

“She sent a letter. Why?”

Katniss shook her head. She didn’t know what difference it made really.

“I don’t know. I just thought...maybe there was a clue there about what was happening to me.” Haymitch knelt by her side. 

“I think she wanted to remind you that everything is gonna be ok. And it is. I promise. I’m gonna get to the bottom of this. Alright? You want me to stay here? Maybe you shouldn’t be alone.” Haymitch was genuinely concerned but Katniss scoffed at it.

“Please. I’ve been alone my whole life. I can handle delusions....”

“If that’s what they are...” he continued. Maybe he believed her after all. Katniss looked at him hopefully and they shared a somewhat knowing glance. Even if that glance meant that he understood that trauma that might make her lose her fucking mind. She trusted him. He took her shoulders in his hands and nodded.

“I’ll make a few phone calls. And I’ll check back in. Maybe you take a bath or something. You feel awfully cold.”

She was. Katniss hadn’t noticed her body temperature drop again but it had. Significantly.

She sat on the couch and watched Haymitch rise and leave, glancing back only for a moment as he pulled the door shut. She inhaled sharply and shut her eyes.

“Finnick?” She whispered. Desperate for him to answer her. Or better yet, materialize. She opened her eyes. Nothing. But she could feel him. The same way she did in her dreams, or when she had woken up that morning. She felt him. Katniss stood slowly from the couch, cradling her arms against her chest. She walked slowly to the bottom of the stairs where she noticed a slight hiss of visible breath. She tiptoed gently up the stairs, holding the railing to steady herself as she noticed more and more of her nervous breath. She reached the top and held her ground for a brief moment before turning into the master bedroom that she had made hers. She entered it cautiously and immediately caught a glimpse of Finnick’s heavy black boots splayed out at the foot of her bed. Katniss gingerly rounded the corner and saw him looking almost the exact same as he had in the morning when she first laid her eyes in his frame: reclining in the wicker chair, arms resting on its side, feet out one in front of the other. She exhaled heavily and he turned to face her, his cheeks stained with salt and eyes and nose in a battle to see which could glow pinker. He sniffled slightly. For a brief moment Katniss forgot to be afraid or confused by him and dropped to her knees just inches from him as the weight of what was slowly washing over her brought her off of her feet.

She watched his chest raise and lower apprehensively as he sat up only slightly.

“My name is Finnick Odair. Real or not real?” His voice was hushed and hard, broken and gentle. 

“Real.” She answered. Afraid that that would be the only easy one.

“I am from District Four. Real or not real?”

“Real.”

“I was reaped with Mags for the Quarter Quell. Real or not real?”

“Real.” Katniss felt her voice struggling as her pulse raced. Finnick inhaled tightly and steeled his jaw, his nostrils flaring slightly.

“I died underground in the Capitol. Real....or not real?”

Katniss struggled to answer him. She had seen it. She had helped it happen. She had felt it in her own bones when his heart stopped. 

“Real. It’s real, Finnick.”

Almost simultaneously they both watched a single tear stream from the corner of their left eyes...like they were mirroring each other. It chilled them both.

“Annie...” he choked back a cry and hung his head, breaking their eye contact as he fought to continue, “Annie Cresta...had my baby....”

Katniss tried to imagine the weight of what those words meant to him. She couldn’t. Her heart broke for him but she couldn’t. Or could she.

His head hung between his shoulders and his eyes were pinched shut. Katniss raised her hand slowly and moved it through the air towards his cheek like she was pushing through sand. Her fingers lit on his cheekbone and caught fire. But she didn’t pull away. Even as he raised his face. She closed her hand on his cheek and as he turned to face her she lifted the other to hold his face in her hands. Fighting against the heat and slamming her eyes and mouth shut for strength.

She saw inside of him: a young redhead, the tribute center, Mags, Annie flailing, carrying her, seeing her in Thirteen, making love to her, her wedding dress, her smile, her kiss, her whispering his name...

Finnick tried to pull from her but Katniss squeezed his face in her hands, pushing her forehead to his as she screamed out. The visions were flooding her in what seemed like no particular order:

Annie crying, laying in bed crying, screaming for him, crying for Mags, Annie in pain, a baby crying, Finnick’s green eyes, Annie huddled in a corner surrounded by dark and the desperate cries of a baby, Annie asking for help, Annie calling to him. The cries growing louder and louder and louder until Katniss ears ached.

Katniss tugged her hands from Finnick and pulled back until she fell back on her heels. Leaving them both out of breath. Finnick searched her exhausted face for answers.

“Katniss...what? Please. Please you have to help me...” Finnick slumped from the chair and onto the floor with her.

“I need to get to Annie. Please....”

Katniss let his words fall over her. He was right. There was a sudden calm that washed over her and she couldn’t explain it.

“That’s it. You’re right.”

She whispered sitting up. 

“I think...that’s why you’re here. Finnick. I think I have to get you to Annie.”

“What?” He rocked forward. She inhaled and spoke words that suddenly felt like they made sense even if she didn’t know why.

“I think...Annie needs us.”

Finnick furrowed his brow, intrigued by Katniss’ new certainty. She was feeling his pain and Annie’s pain and her own pain...and suddenly the cocktail of all of it produced the first thing she could hold on to: Finnick was either here or he wasn’t, but he was inside her head and her heart and her soul either way and she was going to get him to his wife and child. 

Now, she had to figure out how to get herself out of the District she had been exiled to.


	4. Chapter 4

Katniss spent what felt like hours on and off the phone with Haymitch. Her mother was returning from The Capitol to stay with her (she knew it was only to make sure she wasn’t losing her mind.) He had put calls into Four to try to touch base with Annie Cresta and see if maybe anything Katniss was feeling or seeing would somehow make sense to her. In between calls they paced the mostly vacant home. Finnick lost in his own thoughts and confusion, Katniss with a new determination to figure out what was happening...and how.

But something stranger was starting to creep up and bother them both. 

When Katniss felt tired, Finnick would yawn. If she ate food, he would feel full. and when he let a thought of her cross his mind, she would know.

They started to play with what was happening to them. Katniss touched the hot stove as she lit it to make tea. Finnick’s fingers blistered. Katniss blindfolded herself and Finnick, even though he had little to no interest in eating, tasted things from her cupboards and she could identify them in her own mouth. 

Every single one. At one point Finnick pulled a length of rope from his belt and handed it to her, asking her to tie it. Without instruction or knowing how, she did it. Expertly. As he thought through the steps.

Whatever was happening with them there was no denying that it was real. And she had the rope to prove it.

There was a knock at the door. 

“Haymitch.” They whispered. Katniss moved for the door but Finnick stayed in his seat at the table he had attempted to fix. She was clutching the length of rope he had given her when Haymitch beat her to it and let himself in, pulling the door behind him.

“We need to talk.”

He was winded, and Katniss nodded as he looked around the room.

“Yes. We do. I think I know what’s going on.”

Haymitch was studying the room and his eyes landed on the table. 

“Can...can you see him??” Katniss wondered out loud. He raised an eyebrow to her and then back to the table.

“Who? Finnick? He’s....still here?,” he asked and she nodded nervously, “no sweetheart, just wondering if this table is gonna move itself again.

Finnick smirked at Katniss and pushed the wooden bowl that sat on the center of it, sending it sailing off the end of the table. Haymitch jumped back and yelped in a way that made Katniss chuckle lowly.

“Jesus Christ. Wha.....how...Finnick?”

If he wasn’t winded before, he was now.

She nodded. 

“Ok. Well. I hope he’s at least ugly now.” Haymitch tried to make light.

“He’s dead Haymitch. I know that. But he’s here. I can see him. And I think it’s because Annie needs him. I think he came to me somehow because he needs my help. Annie needs my help. Something happened when Finnick died. Something I can’t shake. I don’t know why it happened but it did. And now I hate to figure out why.”

Haymitch was listening intently, without an ounce of judgement.

“What happened when he died?”

“The mutts....”

“No. No. I know what happened. I mean to you.”

Katniss inhaled and closed her eyes. Reliving the horror of it.

“I watched him fall, and I knew I couldn’t save him. It was like...his life was flashing before my eyes. Things I had never seen.”

Haymitch has eased himself gently into a chair across the table from Finnick. His eyes glued to Katniss and the color making its way from his face and down his neck. His fingers trembled. 

“Maysilee.” 

He whispered her name and Katniss had to ask him to repeat it louder. He tried to inhale against it but it slipped past his lips again.

“Maysilee Donner....”

Finnick leaned towards him, still unseen, but spoke to Katniss.

“The female tribute from his Quarter Quell...” Katniss knew her name was familiar. 

“What about her?!” She asked with growing intensity.

He closed his eyes as she tried to give him the grace of patience. 

“I held her hand when she died. And...I saw it. Her life.....”

Katniss slumped against the couch she was standing by and whispered his name. 

“Ask him what happened next....” Finnick pushed Katniss as he stood.

“What happened?” Katniss asked gingerly, as she and Finnick hung on his words.

“She died. They took her. I won. But....I never shook her. Man sometimes I’d be so sure I was seeing her. In town, in The Capitol, in my damn house. I thought I was losing my mind....”

Katniss moved towards him and took his hand.

“You weren’t losing your mind. Something happened to us. All of us. You didn’t go crazy.”

“Or we both did, kid.” Haymitch pulled out his flask and took a long pull to feed the drinking habit that now made even more sense. He wasn’t just drowning his past, he was ignoring his present. 

“Why do you think it happened?” Katniss asked him, looking at Finnick who nodded to her in approval.

“I dunno, sweetheart. Maybe just being with someone when they go like that. Especially the way they had to go. Someone you care about more than you should.” 

He took another drink and Katniss watched for a moment before she turned slowly to realize that Finnick was staring at her. Suddenly she and Haymitch were equally anxious to change the subject.

“You said you need to help Annie. What do you know?” Haymitch asked quietly.  
Katniss felt Finnick close the space between them, like he wanted to touch her but knew he couldn’t. 

“I’ve seen her. In my thoughts. Crying. The baby is crying. There’s so much fear and pain and sadness....” Katniss had closed her eyes without even realizing it. She could see it, like it was happening right in front of her. 

“How could you know that?” Haymitch whispered through his teeth. Katniss opened her eyes and turned to Finnick, his face as pained as she already knew he felt.

“I’m sorry...” she whispered to him.

“Annie’s in trouble. The nurses say she won’t hold the baby. Cries out for Finnick in her sleep. She can’t feed him or nurse him or care for him anymore than she can care for herself.”

Katniss felt her body shake at his words, and she knew they were hard for him to say.

“Can you get me to Four? Can you get me to her?” Katniss was frantic.

“I’m working on it sweetheart. Plutarch, everyone in the Capitol, they are rooting for you. You know that. But there are rules. Some are harder to break than others. I’m trying.”

He stood up and looked around the room, took another drink, and moved towards the door.

“I’m gonna call in some more favors. It’s too bad Finnick can’t. That was really his bag. No one cares much about helping me.”

Haymitch was prattling on as he pulled the door open and Finnick sprung to as he listened. He was searching.

“Katniss, get a pen. Paper.” He yelled to her and she moved to a drawer in a desk right by the door. Finnick began rattling off names and she wrote them furiously. Haymitch studied her behavior even as she handed him the paper and he looked it over. Baffled.

“How...how do you know these people?”

“Tell him you don’t. I do. And they will help.” Finnick spat his words quickly and Katniss repeated them:

“I don’t. Finnick does. He told me. They will help. Please.”

Haymitch nodded uneasily and turned to leave.

“Haymitch?” She called for him gently. He turned to her over his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

Katniss inhaled deeply and moved towards him.

“Do you still see her? Maysilee?”

Haymitch looked at his feet as he shuffled them. 

“Not since I met you. Strange isn’t it? At least not that I remember, but I try to stay lubricated enough that I don’t.” He lifted and shook his flask before easing himself down the stairs and off of her quiet landing.

Katniss pushed the door closed and then turned and leaned her back against it, as Finnick stood frozen staring at her.

“What?” She whispered. Knowing the answer could be a million things. He stepped into her, keeping distance but not enough.

“Do you care about me?” He asked her point blank and she was caught unprepared.

“I...of course I care about you Finnick. Of course.”

“Do you care about me...too much?” He recalled Haymitch’s words and asked her sincerely. She didn’t know the right answer.

“I....I....I don’t know what is too much.” 

Her back was against the door and he took another step or two towards her. She felt the familiar chill that always rose over her skin as he approached and saw her breath start to appear between them. Without warning he took one, and then two or her hands, lacing his fingers through them and gripping them with superhuman strength. She felt like she caught fire. She called out his name, screaming it in fear and trying to pull from him as she pressed her back into the door and her eyes shut. 

Then...she felt it. She saw it. 

Her mind was flooding, overflowing and spilling with images of the two of them. Every second they had spent together, every word, every look, every touch. Magnified by some kind of magical remembrance. Her heart pounded in her chest and she was sure that even with her eyes closed she could feel him panting against her cheek. The images continued to scroll through her mind as plain and as real as anything she had ever seen and slowly they were mingling with newness. 

Memories of Finnick she had not yet made.


	5. Chapter 5

Katniss pulled her hands back from him, flinging her elbows into the door behind her so hard that they ached.

They stood, panting and breathless, staring at one another.

“Finnick...” she whispered it.

“Was that you or me?” He whispered back, grasping at breath.

Katniss was still trying to shake it. She saw him again for the first time, cocky as he offered her a sugar cube. She felt the rush of his hands on her fingers in the training center, the exhilaration or seeing him when he arrived to help her in The Capitol, the sadness of him wishing death on all of them after the Quell.

But...

She also saw him naked, writhing over her, calling out to her, his hands on her...over her...in her. She felt the heat of his chest under her ear as she slept. She felt him pull her against him and dip into the sea wrapped in his arms. Things that had never happened. She felt herself fall in love with him over and over and over again. There were babies that had his eyes and hers.

“I...don’t....maybe it was both of us.”

Finnick moved to touch her again and she slid from between the cold heat of his body and the door. She moved from him and paced, unsure of what she was feeling and how something that she had buried so deep inside of her came spilling out. And why only now? When he had presumably returned from the dead to help care for his wife and newborn child. Her head spun and not in the good way.

Finnick was lost in similar thoughts. Katniss had always intrigued and beguiled him, like a strange sort of soul mate he had only scratched the surface of before she was taken from him. Or vice versa. And he loved Annie Cresta so deeply. Deep enough that somehow he had been sent back to care for her the way he had always cared for her...and to care, by proxy, for the son he never knew.

“I don’t feel well. I think I need to go lay down. And please don’t take this the wrong way. But I need you to stay down here.”

Katniss was rubbing her temples and could barely look at him as he wafted toward her.

“My rope...” he asked, gesturing to the tied length she still held in her hand. Her hands trembled as she stretched one out to pass it to him, careful to not touch him even in the slightest. He gingerly took it from her.

“Thank you. And I won’t come up. I’m sorry I’m even here. I know this isn’t helping.”

His voice was drawn and lonely and she immediately regretted adding insult to injury but she so desperately needed to feel alone. She realized that his presence had been with her since his death and she had kept loneliness at bay because of it.

But now she craved it.

“Thank you.” She whispered as she rounded the stairs. 

Finnick eased into the couch, trying to calm his mind by untying and retying the rope. She paused to watch him get lost in it before continuing up the stairs.

She fell into her bed like it was a cloud and let it softly envelop her. She closed her eyes but that brought her no peace. Every time she so much as blinked her head flooded with images of him. Her body racked with feelings that started off as emotional and became physical. She could feel the weight of his body on top of her and her knees dropped open naturally as if she was accepting him. She could feel his breath on her neck and reared her head back into her pillow to make room for him. She could see his naked form so clearly and noticed a long scar that traced his right hip from his groin all the way up over the crest of his bone. She found herself lost in that scar in her mind even as the image of him pressing himself inside of her flooded her thoughts.

She felt her breath hitch and she grabbed fistfuls of the sheets beneath her as she orgasmed...hard...and untouched. She writhed silently and breathlessly alone in her own bed as she felt a heat and dampness between her thighs. Her legs cramped and tightened over and over again as she came hard. She found herself whispering his name as images of his body on hers became all she could see. She could almost feel the sweat dripping from him and landing on her and she swore she could feel him ejaculate deep inside of her as the images of his climax matched with her own.

Her eyes flew open. Mostly praying he wasn’t in the room, but also shaking and numb to the realness of it all. She pushed her palm between her legs and she was soaked, right through her panties and sweatpants.

‘What is happening to me...’ she thought.

She allowed herself to fall asleep and curled into fetal position trying to imagine him behind her. 

When she woke the evening breeze was still blowing through the window. The sky was growing dark and she sat up slowly, realizing that sleep had come much longer than she anticipated.

She straightened her braid and changed into fresh clothes before hesitantly walking back downstairs. She noticed Finnick, still sitting on the couch tying and untying as she had left him, and Haymitch sitting right beside him. In another world this would have made her smile.

She pushed into the room and rounded the couch until they could both see her. She glanced at Finnick and then Haymitch...wondering for just a moment if they had seen each other.

“You look like you saw a ghost....” Haymitch teased.

“Hilarious.” Katniss responded without a hint of levity, “what do you know?”

Haymitch sat forward and Finnick mimicked his movements. Both men leaning forward and staring at her. She was struggling to look at Finnick so she chose Haymitch.

“They are gonna bring Annie here. With your mom coming back from The Capitol they thought she could help Annie with the baby. Along with you, of course.”

Katniss nodded. It was a good solution. She looked at Finnick who looked hopeful.

“Is Annie ok with that?” She asked hesitantly and Haymitch exhaled a hiss.

“I don’t know that Annie knows one place from the next right now Katniss. She hasn’t even named the baby and he’s a month old.” 

Finnick stood and walked from both of them. She watched him as he left the room like he needed air and noticed that he moved to leave through the back door but froze like he knew that wasn’t an option.

“Ok.” Was all she could manage to say.

Haymitch tracked her eyes, saw the sadness in them, and stood. He cleared his throat.

“Finnick....” he spoke quietly like he felt mildly silly about it, but Finnick turned to him as he continued, “I’m really sorry about what happened. To you and to Annie. I know you know that. But we are gonna try to make this right.”

Haymitch’s voice broke and Finnick slowly re-entered the room. He stepped close to him and whispered a thank you.

“He says thank you.” Katniss echoed for him.

Haymitch was on the verge on emotion he didn’t want either of them to see, so he ducked quietly past her and towards the door. She called after him, but he didn’t turn and just exited. She faced the door, unwilling to turn and face Finnick as she felt her cheeks blush at the very thought of it.

“I felt it.”

He laid the words out gently with her back still to him. She swallowed hard and turned to face him pleading as much as she could with her eyes and pretending not to understand.

“I’m sorry?”

He gulped, his own cheeks flushing hot as he watched the same thing happened to hers.

“Whatever happened to you upstairs. I know you know what I’m talking about.”

Katniss’ heart pounded out of control and threatened to leap from her. 

“I don’t know what...” she started to protest and move from him and he reached for her forearm, stopping her. They both froze. The same images...making love to each other in a place neither of them could pin down...washed over them both in a sweltering heat. He pulled his arm away and they both stepped back, creating much needed space.

“That.”

He was out of breath. And so was she or she might have been able to find the words to respond to him. She looked at him, finally and suddenly unable to control the flood of emotion bubbling just under her surface. And it hadn’t just been that day. It had been since the moment she laid eyes on him. It had only grown when she lost him. And it had become unbearable since she started to feel his presence surrounding her every moment.

Finnick had felt it, too. A need for her he couldn’t explain, the guilt of even a fleeting moment where he thought this was who he should be. Or who he should be with. And the unimaginable agony of it happening to him now.

They stared at each other with a million unsaid things that they seemed to realize in unison didn’t need to be said. They just...knew. The way Finnick just knew that he was dead. The way Katniss just knew Annie needed them. They just knew.

And they basked in the untimely sadness of it all. 

“Show me your hip.” Katniss blurted out, gesturing to his right hip. 

“What?” He asked, unsure. 

“Please...just...show me your hip.”

He frowned but didn’t argue, as he pulled the waist of his deep blue pants over his hip, revealing a long dark scar that traced the bone like he knew that’s what she was asking to see.

“Mags. Damn near skewered me with a trident training me how to use it.” He smiled gently against himself as Katniss started to cry.

“I saw it. In my head. I know that scar. Finnick, this is...these are...real.”

They stared into each other.

“I know you loved Peeta. I saw it.” Finnick assured her somehow that that was still ok. And she granted him the same grace.

“And I know you loved Annie. I see it still.” 

They nodded in agreement and searched for the right words. 

“Are you hungry?” Katniss asked, unsure if that was even possible. He smiled nervously and cocked his mouth to the side as he rubbed his neck, shaking his head gently no.

He sat back down on the couch while Katniss moved uneasily to the kitchen. She was avoiding things and not even hungry herself, but forcing herself to take tiny bites of crackers and fruit from the counter. She could hear him pacing. She wanted to sleep but even that scared her. After busying herself in the kitchen for as long as she could manage, she took a handful of berries and walked back towards the main room where he was logging miles circling. 

“Finnick?” He turned towards the sound of her voice. She was lost in thoughts and no longer unable to distinguish what he knew and what he didn’t. So she wondered as she asked if he already knew the question as much as then answer.

“Those things, those feelings. How are we experiencing them the same if they never happened? They can’t be memories.” 

He seemed to turn her words over in her his mind as he turned the rope over in his hands. He casually walked towards her, folding the space in half before he lifted his eyes to look at her.

“Maybe...they are memories from another life....” his voice was full of heat and compassion. She didn’t know if it was the answer she wanted but it seemed to trip off of his tongue like he knew it was true. She ached to touch his face. Just once she wanted to touch him without it setting off a firestorm of pain and confusion.

“I should go lie down.” She walked past him, clenching her fingers against her desires and moving up the stairs. She paused almost like she had to whether she wanted to or not. She gripped the railing and turned to watch him, slunk down sadly.

“You’ll probably just feel and see anything I do in my own bed tonight anyway. So if you wanted to come up....”

She let her voice trail off as her confidence did. She didn’t wait to see if he answered her but instead finished her ascent to her room. She had almost made it to her bed when she heard the steady thud of his boots following after her.


	6. Chapter 6

Katniss stood next to her bed, slowly undoing her shirt as she heard Finnick round the corner to her room. He effortlessly slid down into the wicker chair that had somehow become only his. He watched her as she undressed until she stood in just her bra and panties, sliding into the bed. She pulled the covers up over her neck, their eyes still locked on one another. She tried to close hers but it was no use. It was worse when they were closed. 

She opened them again and watched him. Her eyes intent on him as she let her hand trace down her belly and into her panties. 

“Katniss...” Finnick spoke her name like a prayer and she only moaned in response. He repeated himself gently.

“Katniss...please stop.” She froze in place suddenly feeling like a scolded child. She didn’t even want to move her hand. He read the shame on her face as her cheeks flushed and eased himself from the chair and to the side of her bed, kneeling there.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to. That I don’t want you. God, you have no idea....”

Katniss pulled her hand from between her thighs and tucked it behind her sheepishly. 

“I just can’t. It doesn’t matter how much I want to. I can’t. And I’m supposed to be here for Annie but I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m here for you and I don’t know what’s right anymore. I don’t know what’s real.” Tears we’re threatening his green eyes as they misted over.

She wanted to shy away from him, turn her back. But she knew it would be useless. There was just so much pain in him. It was palpable. She swallowed hard as she lifted a hand to his cheek, watching a tear escape his eye and roll over it. She caught it. 

His tear lit on the edge of her fingertip like a bubble threatening to pop and with it...as it seemingly seeped into her skin...her body convulsed with years of twisted pain. She wretched into him. She had learned through his propo, along with everyone in The Capitol, the horrors he had seen as a Victor. As a plaything for Coriolanus Snow. But now she was feeling it. Every vile act and forced decision and painful entry or humiliating public performance. She was feeling it all and it threatened to undo her. 

But she didn’t take her hand from his face as his tears continued to collect on her fingers. 

She saw the flashing garish array of ceilings: from chandeliers to torture chambers to open skies to the tribute center. And she realized that these images were burned into him like scars. The details he would remember to forget the agony of what his body was put through. Just the ceilings he stared at while it happened to him. She felt her body swell with nausea and finally ripped her hand from him, recoiling and turning away as she felt more and more sure she needed to vomit.

“Katniss....”

He wanted so badly to grab her. To turn her back around and to hold onto her, but if even a touch of his cheek had sent her into hysterics...he thought better of it. 

He rounded the foot of the bed until he found himself on the edge of it that she was facing, crying now and still gripping her mouth. 

“What did they do to you?” She managed to hiss through her fingers and through her tears. He closed his eyes slowly knowing that his deepest secrets...the dark ones he wouldn’t even dare to relive himself...were no longer his own. 

“It’s over now.” He whispered, “but that’s what this life gave me. Years of pain and humiliation, one night with my wife, and an eternity of wanting you.”

She stared hopelessly at him. 

“You should sleep...” he finally managed through a choked and cracking voice that belied his forced calm.

“I don’t think I can.” She responded, and they both knew she was right. She moved back and cleared a space in her bed for him. He bent over to untie his boots and she watched him patiently. He left them at the side of her bed and climbed into it beside her. The lay facing each other, quietly staring but neither one daring to touch the other, until Finnick succumbed to sleep first. 

She watched him for a long while, hours maybe, not able to find the rest of sleep herself. She wondered if something would be different maybe while he was not conscious. She let herself reach across the small expanse of space between them and placed her fingers on the skin of his chest that peeked out from his open shirt. She closed her eyes. Her own consciousness flooded:

A beach, the sound of the waves crashing against it. She could feel her toes in the sandy water as they lapped over her feet, salt air, children laughing, Mags fishing, music playing, the sun warming her skin, Prim.

Prim.

She pushed her hand into him harder, nothing on fire and nothing in pain and nothing that hurt her...just her sister walking on the sand and twirling a young girl in her arms. Smiling. Prim smiling. Prim laughing.

She was right there and so real. She felt tears escaping her eyes.

She pulled her hand back and closed it over her own chest, desperate to keep those visions hers. She cried silently. Finnick did not stir. 

The things that filled him in his sleep. So different than those that filled him when he was awake. She pushed her body into his chest, unafraid now of touching him. She closed her eyes and felt her body move from the inside out. She was pulled from her place beside him in the Victor’s Village. They were still wrapped in each other side by side but free of clothes. And the room that surrounded them was barely a room at all...tall open walls draped with white curtains that billowed around them. His fingers interlaced with hers, twisting and playing even as they slept. It was peace. Absolute and total. She smelled the salt air and sweet pine and the musk of his chest and all she could think of was needing this forever. At some point she drifted out of her own consciousness, no longer sure what was real and no longer wanting to know. 

“Katniss...wake up...”

His voice floated over her and she gently let her eyes open. She saw Finnick standing at the window, the light of day streaming in around him. She couldn’t believe she had managed a full night’s sleep. She pulled herself slowly from the bed and stood at his side. They faced each other for a brief moment and shared a small but knowing smile. Katniss turned to look out the window as they watched Haymitch hurry through the plaza to meet the train they could already hear coming into the station.

Katniss heard his breath escalate and turned to watch him as he pressed his hands against the window. 

“She’s here. They’re here.”

He was a strange conglomerate of anticipation and hesitation. 

“Hey...it’s ok.” She whispered, hoping her words, if not her touch, could calm him.

They stood silently. He nodded his appreciation and tried to make himself believe it but his insides were a garbled mess. Knowing how seeing his wife and child would feel, not being able to touch them, wondering if they would be able to see him. But also a sudden chilling dread about what their arrival really meant: if he was sent to Katniss to help Annie...what happened to him once she did?

They saw Haymitch reappear carrying a few small bags and pulling a trunk. He was flanked by two women. 

Annie...and Clara.

“My mom...” Katniss whispered. And it was she, not Annie, who held Finnick’s son. Annie was holding Haymitch’s arm seemingly aloof to anything else.

“Annie...” Finnick slunk down against the glass, his fingers dragging down it. He pressed his forehead into it as they watched them approach Katniss’ house.

She had gone about dressing and brushing her hair hurriedly but Finnick remained plastered to the window watching their arrival.

“Are you ready?” She whispered to him as she adjusted her braid over her shoulder, watching him still pressed against the window. 

“I don’t know.” She could barely hear him. She moved back to the window and looked down. Her mother was gently rocking the baby in her arms as they reached the porch. Clara looked up and noticed Katniss in the window. She smiled wide. 

“Annie can’t know. No matter what happens don’t say anything about...me being here....she won’t understand. I mean I don’t understand so I know she won’t understand. She struggles, Katniss, it could break her.”

Katniss watched the girl with long auburn hair as Finnick talked about her. He worried about breaking her but Katniss knew that ship had sailed.

“Ok. I promise.”

He slowly stood beside her. She noticed him shaking and wished she could still him somehow. 

“You promise.”

“Finnick I promise.”

“No matter what.”

“No matter what. Finnick I need you to know something....”

He stopped her. His hand in the air and his eyes closed.

“Don’t say it. I know. But don’t say it.”

She frowned at his interruption but understood it. She didn’t know why she felt compelled to say it out loud. Something was telling her to. That she was running out of time. 

She heard the front door open. Finnick turned quickly and ran for the top of the stairs. Katniss hurriedly followed. He wanted to get their first, hoping that maybe one of them would see him. 

They did not. Katniss eased past him and down the steps, he followed quietly. 

“Katniss...” Clara passed the baby to Haymitch who held onto him like he was on fire, not sure what to touch or hold. Katniss and her mother embraced strongly and for a long while. Katniss quietly cried against her mother’s shoulder. She knew Haymitch had told her everything, but she also knew her mother’s mind and she would never understand or believe her. She let herself stop tracking Finnick for a moment before turning and glancing over her shoulder at him. He stood a few steps behind her staring at the baby boy in Haymitch’s arms before he slowly sat on the stair like he couldn’t find the strength to do much more. 

“Annie...you remember Katniss.” Haymitch reintroduced the two women as Clara took the baby back over her shoulder.

“Ye....yes. I’m sorry....I ...”

“Don’t be sorry,” Katniss stopped her from searching for words, “I’m so happy for you. But I know this hasn’t been easy on you. You’re here now. We can do this together.” 

She smiled at her and thanked her quietly, fighting back tears and reaching for her hand. They grasped hands tightly. Suddenly Katniss was aware of Finnick’s presence over her shoulder. 

“Tell her you’d like to make fishing lures with her. Tell her I taught you. I will.” Katniss listened and then repeated his words to Annie.

“Finnick taught me how to tie lures. I’m sure he’d like to know we could do that together. I think you’ll like it here.”

Her eyes lit up at the mention of it, and they shared a smile. 

“And this is your son....” Katniss glanced at the baby and Clara gently passed him to her. She eased her fingers around him and immediately felt a similar tingle in her fingertips...the way they had tingled with Finnick. She gasped when she looked at him. His eyes. They were barely open but they were Finnick. He even smelled like him.

“He’s beautiful.” She whispered through a cry. 

“I’m a horrible mother to him Katniss. I don’t know how.” Annie spat out a confession and the rest of them were amazed at her comfort with Katniss. 

“We will all learn together. I don’t know what I’m doing either but my mother does. I mean, I survived, right?”

Katniss was skillfully helping Annie off every ledge she climbed onto. She somehow always knew exactly what to say. And she knew that wasn’t all her own doing. They all shared a laugh. Finnick watched Katniss holding his son and calming his wife and a strange ease was slowly washing over the lot of them. Katniss inhaled deeply.

“What’s his name?” She asked, knowing that Annie hadn’t decided yet. Their eyes met and Annie looked lost. Confused.

“Dylan.” Finnick whispered into Katniss’ ear as he looked at him falling asleep in her arms. 

“Dylan.” Katniss repeated and the three of them looked equal parts confused and relieved. Annie furrowed her brow as he mouth curled into a slight smile.

“Finnick’s father...how did you know that?” Katniss felt her stomach drop and answered too quickly.

“Finnick told me all about him....”

Annie’s face changed slightly. Curious.

“Finnick didn’t know his father...he died when he was very young...”

“Mags. Tell her Mags told you.” Finnick rescued her.

“Mags. Mags had mentioned it to him. To me. I don’t know. It just...seems right.”

“I think he’s definitely a Dylan. I mean if he’s not a Haymitch...” Haymitch tried to diffuse any tension as well.

“Dylan...son of the wave. I think it’s perfect.” Clara echoed. 

Annie touched the baby’s face and said the name, smiling.

“Dylan.”

She wiped a tear from her cheek and thanked Katniss.

Clara gently took Annie by the arm.

“Annie I can get you settled. We can let Dylan sleep upstairs so that you are able to rest. Katniss, would you take him up for a moment? He’s already sleeping...we can see if he stays that way....”

“I’ll get the rest of the bags.” Haymitch turned for the porch. As Clara walked Annie past the steps Finnick whispered her name, frozen as she walked by. But she stopped. Somehow...in some way...she had heard him.

“I love you. So much. You’re gonna be ok now.” His voice came and went as he talked. She stood perfectly still like she was hearing it in her own head. Clara gently kept her moving slowly. Katniss turned and watched him as he watched her clear the room. It was just the two of them now. 

The three of them.

“Can I go lay down?” He whispered to her. Like he might fall asleep right there if she didn’t say yes.

“Of course.” She whispered back. He turned slowly. Painfully slowly, and moved to rise up the stairs. That’s when she noticed that his back...the entirety of it...his sides, his white shirt....

Every inch of it was stuck to his body with blood. Thick and red, fresh. Out of nowhere he was bleeding to death.


	7. Chapter 7

Katniss’ heart froze inside her chest at the sight of him. Unable to say anything to him and forcing herself to keep her calm mostly for the sleeping baby across her chest. She padded slowly behind him on shaky legs as he climbed the stairs and turned the corner into her room where his boots still sat at the side of her bed. He barely even turned his body before letting it collapse onto her bed. The same place he had slept the night before. The same place she had allowed herself to curl into him. 

Katniss tried to think clearly, resting Dylan on the opposite side of the bed but keeping her eyes on Finnick. He was drifting off to sleep and it terrified her.

“Finnick look at me...” she whispered, settling the baby in and the flinging herself around the foot of the bed until she was at his side. His hands rested across his stomach and she watched as his fingers played at the wet fabric. He frowned at it but only a little. There was more blood now then there had been even on the stairs. Her hands hovered over him, desperate to try to stop the bleeding but unable to touch him.

“Hey...it’s ok. It doesn’t hurt.” He pulled the side of his mouth into a half smile, a strange calm in his voice like he knew he was covered in blood and didn’t care. Like he knew somehow that this was meant to happen.

“What is happening?” She hissed desperately, trying to stay quiet. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, before opening them and staring straight at her ceiling. 

“Finnick....” she called his name several times and he didn’t pull his eyes towards her. He slowly lifted his hand towards her as he finally turned his head, smiling gently and offering it to her. She stared at it for a moment unsure.

“It’s ok.” He whispered...and instead of waiting for her to grab his hand, he lifted it to her face and closed it over her cheek. She closed her eyes and pressed into it.

She saw it. The beautiful white images that she had seen while he was asleep. Billowing curtains, softly crashing waves, children laughing, the mast of a boat, pink sky....Finnick. With Prim. And Mags. And...her father. She gasped. Throwing her hand over his to press it deeper into her skin hoping she would see more.

“Finnick....” she whispered as she opened her eyes and gazed deeply into his, blinking off tears to see him clearly.

“I have to go....” he whispered as his voice broke and his lip quivered. He turned his head from Katniss and towards the baby resting at his side. He stared at him intently for a long while, inhaling his scent and taking him in. He turned back to Katniss and forced a smile.

“You can do this. He’ll need you.” He whispered, his hand stroking her cheek.

“I don’t want to do this. Not without you.”

“You won’t be without me. I promise.” His voice lifted from his chest with very little strength behind it. 

“Finnick please.....” she clutched his hand on her cheek.

“Prim wants me to tell you to be nice to Buttercup....” he smiled as Katniss laughed through her tears. He was with Prim. She could take care of his heart and he would be looking over hers.

“That other world...it’s out there. For us. Just...take your time, ok?” Finnick barely eked the last words out and she let her face connect with his. She closed her eyes. Her forehead on his without any tension, his skin cold, her lips gently against his as as felt one breath....and waited for the next one that never came.

When she opened her eyes, he was gone.

She whispered his name and stared at her blood stained bed and then at the sleeping baby next to her. Her body trembled and her mind raced. She couldn’t breathe.

“Holy shit what happened??” Haymitch had entered her room and there was no denying from his face and expression that he saw it the way she did.

Katniss rocked back on her heels and realized her hands were covered in his blood. Her cheek, stained from him. Haymitch rushes to her side and grabbed wrists, looking for where the blood was coming from. 

“Katniss what happened...what did you do?” He screamed in his panic.

“It’s not mine....it’s not me....” she tried to calm him and he looked towards the still sleeping baby. He knew it was too much to come from someone that small. He noticed the shape of it in her bed as he let it wash over him.

“Holy shit. Finnick.”

Katniss nodded. Her hands and body trembling in his arms as he pulled her into his chest. She sobbed. Losing Finnickthe first time was hard. This felt unbearable.

“He’s gone.....”

She gulped through the words. And he stroked her hair.

“He’s not gone. You know better than that. Trust me.”

He calmed and soothed her until she stilled in his arms. He held her for a long while. His own heart relaxing under the weight of her realization...and that it helped him with his own. His decades of struggle with the same thing. Maysilee.

“Listen, go shower. I’ll take care of this before they see it. We’ll be ok.”

He helped her to her weak feet but she knew he was right. She had all but relaxed when she let her eyes fall on the baby in her bed. Finnick’s baby. 

She slowly backed out of the room and towards her bathroom, stepping into the stall fully clothed and turning the cold water on. She shivered under it like a blanket and leaned against the side of the stall as she watched his blood run from her and swirl around the drain before disappearing. She gradually pulled the wet clothes from her body and dropped them in soggy heaps. She turned the water up and let it scald her skin as she cleaned herself and tried to prepare for whatever may be waiting downstairs. 

In the heat and steam she let her eyes flutter open. She felt him. Inside her, around her, in the steam as it rose from the water. It washed over her figuratively and literally, and she smiled to herself as she ran her fingers through her hair. She could see the beach. Suddenly she struggled to remember much else. She couldn’t see him in the sewers, couldn’t feel the agonizing pain of his years of slavery to the Capitol. There was just...his smile...that beach...

She shut the water off and opened the curtain, feeling her way through the fog filled bathroom to locate her towel. She pulled one from the rack and pressed it against her face, drying it. As she pulled it down she looked at herself in the mirror. Distorted by the condensation....

And in a corner of that mirror, free from the steam and freshly drawn...a small heart had been traced in it. She smiled as she stepped towards it and noticed it surrounded a small fingered drawing of a trident.

Haymitch was right. He wasn’t gone. And she smiled as she realized...he would never be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for tagging along for this supernatural experiment. 👻 🔱 ❤️


End file.
